I have seen many changes in myself this few months. Now that I've seen the mirror that reflects my very self just a couple of days ago. I've changed from loving to persisting to hoping this few months. Being in love was indeed harder than I've assumed it should be. I've always thought that if you loved someone, its ok that the person did not love you back the same way. Knowing that person not being able to love you the same way you did was a relief as it was the truth and both sides would have been better off just going on with their life. The sudden truth that it hurt so badly that the person didn't love me the same probably hurt me more then i can imagine. A sudden realization that just saying and talking about it was indeed so much more different then going through it.
Saying you love the person is just simple. Having to go through every second not being able to be close to that person was indeed burning my very soul. Makes me think what i've lacked in my life. Is it because i'm physically not attractive or that i lack something in personality. I've never really had problem communicating with people but what makes this person so much different? Have i always tried to impress this person to get the attention i seek? Or maybe i didn't have anything to show off to her. "This is all you get!" says me. DANG it. I'm sure i've got some ammo left somewhere.
Is it just that? Have i lack something? People will come by and tell me its not your fault. Is it? Than whose is it? Can i blame the person? Obviosly no since they have the right to chose their other half. Its just been so draggy. I wish my heart was less loyal to the one i had this simple crush on. But just thinking bout this person made me happy and tried harder for every possible time. If i tried hard maybe she will realise i'm here. I know this is the wrong way to go but realizing it now seems late. I can't say i tormented myself or its just merely something to "syiok sendiri" about. Maybe i'm just holding on to this hope that the person would turn back. "I should move on". I've told myself that everyday. Putting percentages on it just constantly made me realise i should ignore it and go on with my life. I've been stuck there ever since i realise the love was maybe possible. The hope was something that put me hanging there. I need that hope crushed. So maybe a hammer should fall on it.
Status: I need someone to rant my life too.
I've woke up this morning at looked out my window and saw the cloudy morning. It looked like it was drizzling but i couldn't be bothered and mindlessly changed my clothes from my comfortable pajamas to my jogging clothing. I mean who would do this on a day which seems to be drizzling and will start raining cats and dogs anytime then. Me i guess. Only me. I started walking at a fast form being that as the way i always started before going to the jog. I've also realized this few days that i've seriously put on weight and that i couldn't run that much anymore. I've better watch the amount i take cause i think i've been eating to much during my college time. Well, its Sunway Piramid, and food was to be found everywhere there. Being able to run/jog for 10 rounds last time really sucks now as 5 was my limit now. The mp3 player which i brought along every morning did not seem to be useful this particular morning. The rain sounds nice. Yes people! The rain sounds really really nice and i really hoped it would stop drizzling and start pouring over me then. People who were walking to the morning pasar was looking at me as they were holding an umbrella each above their heads. I guess i had a lot of things to talk to myself about which well this morning seems to be the right time as class starts this Monday and work will pile up. Maybe not as much as what the last few semester was to me but knowing "The One Academy", work will be given and i can't say i hate it. This semester, i'm going to have less help from my friends from CD085-1 being seperated to our different courses were taking. Can't be calling them and msg-ing them early morning on what we have to pass up that day itself. Specially going to miss the guys, Jun Yuen, Jia Tat, and King Zen[Ah Beng]. I'm going to miss talking to Terry, Kazaf about Bishies and arguing with Kelly over... over... i don't know... what do we always talk about?! XD Anyway, its like starting over again. Meeting more people that we will hate and like or love. I think i will have a couple of my classmates being in the same class like Sandy, Johnny, Chea Wen, and Jullie. I think Andy told me he wanted to come over to DG085-2 as well. I would like him around. He draws awesome mecha. Some friends are flying away to other places on earth. Heng Leong is flying away to Aussie Land and i'll be lacking one person in my Friday Yum Cha Gang. Seperation is a hard thing to do i guess but i'll have to accept them. They're not that far just that we don't come in contact so much. I'll have to use my phone and msn more often now that i think bout it. I think my grades isn't good enough last semester so i've better buckle up this sem. Lots more to think bout but i guess i'll stop here.
New Year's Resolution? Status: Unknown
Saw kid-chan when i stepped in doing life demo using a tablet. It was nice seeing quick work.
Somehow she was very cute as well. Personality that is similar to anime kawaaii cat girl~
Kid-chan in action.
Well i didn't stick around till the end where she draws finish. Could not stand it i guess.
There were mini anime model collectors there which was cool cause u don't see it around much. There was those that were really ecchi as well. But i guess thats why the guys collect it. >.<''
I never saw someone wear that insignia that proudly before.
Kid-chan. I bought her book and got her to sign it. =P
Stalked Kai at his booth which was doing what they do best. Anime drawings and so-so.
Stalked Sandra next. She cosplayed Lenalee from D.Gray-man. She didn't know i was around when i snapped the pics. Lousy Lenalee she was.
That PEOPLE! Is not a good pose for cosplay.
Lara Croft.
This is Kunkka. He did the loading screen for Dota [Defend of the Ancients]. He is god man... god...
Kenshi and Shinsengumi.
People who just walked around emo-ing. 
A lot of people played Lolita. I don't know why.... don't ask me.
Bleach Group
Er.... Unknown.
Unknown again.
Pikachu!!! This is one sexy Pikachu.
Lolita again.
Kazaf was really attracted to this one.
Yevonne Voon! AAAHHHHH.... SO HOT....
Awesome expression Terry. Sweat look plus the sign was brilliant.
I remember her.... she owe me something....
Met Thomas and Ah Beng.
Nothing like lolita's killing one another.
They are the most beautiful lolita. This is not fetish.... this is just awesome. They're rly pretty too.... =P
Vocaloid Miku. Vampire Knight and unknown.
Shinsengumi.
Star Wars. TA DA! and ultraman squad.
Anbu, Kazaf and Terry. Kazaf wanted to take pictures with them.
Another lolita.... i think its the best maid outfit i've seen then.
Kazaf is into this guy too.... "Take his photo!!" Was what she said....
Awesome set though~
Lenalee kills Ah Beng.
